Monday, November 8, 2010

Friends Lost Over "Kittens Fainting: Now With More Laserbeams" Video

Yes, a sad but true story. And I'm not talking about the kittens.
Upon finding this video the other day, compliments to, I roared with laughter and immediately posted it to Facebook to share this treasure with all. Yes, I was called a nutball, and yes people enjoyed it, but then I received a comment stating I was being "de-friended" for the post of the video. I laughed and blamed it on the Imperial Storm Troopers. Besides, the lasers had been set to only stun them and the kittens were fine for the time being. They would be up and running again in no time only to be stunned with lasers once again.
However, I went to the profile of the "de-friender" and was shocked to see I really had been de-friended! I couldn't believe it. This is a person who has known me my entire life, since I was a baby! Although we haven't been in real contact for several years. Still! I guess you just don't know someone until you see their reaction to kittens being shot with laser beams. 
Hit the link to see the full video:

On the serious side of things these darling kittens suffered from fainting goat syndrome, something that is extremely rare in cats and dogs and pretty much affects only goats. Unfortunately these poor little pussy's also suffered from this horrible disease and since the original video was shot both have passed on to that big cat box in the sky. Apparently the disease causes the cats to drop paralyzed for about a minute everytime time they are startled. But who's the real culprit here? Not me. I wasn't the one who shot those kittens with the laser beam. No, the real villains are the owners. They were the ones who spent hours scaring the pussy's to death! Literally. So don't point your finger at me people. I was just an innocent bystander.

Thanks to Kinnie, The Pipe Cleaner, Gingerjohn and Marco, who tried to breed fainting turtles but the male kept fainting and falling out of the female. Three words (all beginning with T): test tube turtles.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Tofu No Hi (Tofu Day) - Japan

Happy Tofu No Hi! The Japanese love for Tofu is so great that they gave it it's own holiday. Every October 8th Tofu is celebrated! 

Tofu is SO popular in Japan that it has it's own following, the Japan Tofu Association as well as hundreds of merchandise items, anime characters, costumes and more!

The making and ingestion of tofu in Japan is a revered tradition. Tofu, imported from China, has been part of monastery life in Japan for more than 1,000 years. It is an exalted food that could be compared to the Catholic Communion wafer.

 Tofu originated in ancient China although little else is known about the exact historic origins of tofu and its method of production. While there are many theories regarding tofu's origins, historical information is scarce enough as to relegate the status of most theories to either speculation or legend. Like the origins of cheese and butter, the exact origin of tofu production may never be known or proven.

 What is known is that tofu production is an ancient technique. Tofu was widely consumed in ancient China, and techniques for its production and preparation were eventually spread to many other parts of Asia.

 A delegation studying Buddhism in China brought tofu back to Japan, where it was eaten exclusively by the upper classes and clergy for almost 500 years. The ancient method of requiring dried soy beans to be mashed by hand was too labor-intensive
for most households.
 It's no wonder the masses took to tofu - it is a most nutritious food, packed with protein, minerals in addition to being low in calories and cholesterol.
 Places specializing in tofu dishes make it fresh with artisans starting early in the morning to soak, ground, strain, boil, curdle, press, cool and package the soybeans. Some tofu masters are exceptionally gentle with how they make tofu – creating special salt rooms for their tofu-making processes. The humidity, salt and hemp bindings are carefully calibrated to produce divine tofu.

Tofu comes in a wide variety of forms and its production has been at the heart of Japanese culture. 

 In Kyoto, you can eat a restaurant that has existed for 400 years – Okutan – where guests are invited to dine in a calm, garden setting.

 Tofu makers are also careful to cultivate their product using beans from unpolluted areas of Japan and making sure they are picked as late as possible.

In Kyoto, tofu is a delicate handmade food, produced every morning in small shops and large industrial kitchens throughout the country. Each region makes its own styles of tofu, but Kyoto is to tofu what Naples is to pizza, New York to bagels. The Kyoto variety—perfected over centuries by Buddhist monks, in imperial kitchens, and in neighborhood shops like this one—is the accepted standard; it is regarded as the best in Japan and thus the world. 

 So, Happy Tofu No Hi!

And don't forget to eat your curds!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Greatest Gruesome Toys

Just in time for Halloween! My first toy installment, yes, the gory, the gruesome, the gross and the flat out bizarre. Found some of these while perusing some of my crazy toy books and I thought I'd share.

Love the roadkill toys. Nothing says fun like a pile of guts! You'd think this might be geared more towards adults but the smiling child's face on the label says it all. Classic.

Pranksters who crave truly original tricks will be pleased with this ‘Baby in a Microwave’ toy. Now when you find yourself bored at home you can spend hours of endless enjoyment with your very own microwaved baby! 

 This grotesque toy depicting an impaled woman is possibly intended for fans of tentacle-related manga. Failing that, these toys are probably traps intended to pinpoint the Patrick Bateman types of the world.

This toy, consisting of several dismembered body parts, caters to the folks who dream about creating their own zombie toy. Collect all 11 pieces today!

One of my favorites, possibly the oldest bizarre toys I've ever come across, and of course it's Japanese.In the 18th and 19th centuries, sideshow carnivals known as misemono were a popular form of entertainment for the sophisticated residents of Ed. The sideshows featured a myriad of educational and entertaining attractions designed to evoke a sense of wonder and satisfy a deep curiosity for the mysteries of life. One popular attraction was the pregnant doll. Although it is commonly believed that these dolls were created primarily to teach midwives how to deliver babies, evidence suggests they were also used for entertainment purposes.

Playmobil makes little figurines in the shape of hundreds of different professions, but only the Hazmat disposal crew provides children with the stark reminder that mankind's excesses will eventually doom us all.

 These dolls from Russia quite clearly have both male genitalia and the long flowing hair typically associated with females. Talk about sexual identity crisis! 

This Michael Jackson Doll is terrifying.  Picture yourself in a dark room, the only light a dim glow from the window.  Scary Michael Jackson is sitting in a rocking chair, staring at you.

Edible animal toys. Okay, so they're not so scary.  But they are bizarre.  While only the cow is pictured, there are many different animals available including monkeys, fish, and bears.  And each one comes with insanely detailed instructions concerning which cut of flesh you are eating.

 Apparently in Japan there’s a common desire to train your children to take razor blades to toddlers and newborns, in an attempt to cleanse them of their hirsute qualities. Your child will be fascinated by the random and extensive patches of hair that cover portions of this doll. Sadly, the hair can’t grow back.

The Laugh a Lot doll is mostly terrifying because of its commercial, directed by someone who must have had a long and prosperous career making horror flicks. The commercial’s fast cuts and maniacal laughter don’t elicit the desired response, instead causing the audience to cringe in terror and confusion.
You have to see it to believe it!

It’s easy to see the reasoning behind dolls that are handicapped, but it’s still a bit shocking to see a childhood item that usually exemplifies ideals of beauty and turns them into a much more realistic depiction of the tragedy that befalls too many children.

Barbie has always been a role model for young girls, as the ambitious career woman who becomes anything from a Doctor to a Veterinarian, and now, a mother. I’m highly doubtful that this toy helps clear up a child’s confusion about childbirth, so please, purchase with caution.

Well, that's it for this toy installment,
but don't worry plenty remains for the following installments.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

PedoBear: Wanted Criminal

Recently, PedoBear (aka Roy Harms) has received some very negative press and these anti-PedoBear sentiments are sweeping the nation!

His origins are based in Japan as a meme found throughout the 4chan forums and has become the most recognizable internet characters across the world in recent years. Originally known as Kuma, literally (bear) in Japanese. They never added the prefix "Pedo" out of fear of redundancy, since most everything from Japan is sexually perverse. For a long time he has been used and sent in humored fashions to signify someones creepiness as a joke not as an actual red flag for pedophilia. He's been the victim of rather poorly executed photoshopped antics. Fans have pasted his face over hundreds of photos and videos wherein pedophilia is or becomes prominent (due to his presence). Casual web users and internet addicts alike can find solace in his cute face while getting a laugh at the fact that he truly is not what he seems. The fact is, that because of his mixture of appeals, PedoBear has become the world's most well-known meme.

 PedoBear has become so well known that merchandisers have even taken advantage of his popularity. You can now find many PedoBear goodies for all the perverts in your lives. PedoBear hats, hoodies, T-shirts, decals and more!

PedoBear's popularity has grown to such an extent since his days in the 4chan forums that he has been spotted throughout mainstream media across the world. In 2009 a blogger created a composite image depicting Pedobear grouped together with fanart of the cartoon mascots of the Vancouver Winter Olympics. This image was then mistakenly used by other media, most notably the Polish newspaper Gazeta Olsztynska for a February 2010 front page story about the Olympics in Vancouver. Dumb asses. Later in 2009 Pat Buchanan, a conservative commentator, wrote a column about the early days of president Barak Obama which included a picture of PedoBear. Earlier this year, at Brooklyn's Renegade Craft Fair, felted collage pieces depicting  a wide variety of internet and geek culture figures, including PedoBear, were presented.

PedoBear stands to teach us a very important lesson though. Masked with a cute and cuddly exterior with that sweet smile and saucer-like eyes, PedoBear comes off as a most trust worthy friend. Although he appears to be nothing more than a  sweet and lovable stuffed animal, something far more sinister lurks below. Which isn't too far from real-life pedophiles whose acts of lechury usually pray upon children they know very well. Rare is the case of pedophilic acts and abuse against complete strangers. No, most common is the case that child sexual abuse is committed by someone that the child knows, loves, and trusts making the act committed even worse. 
Many websites have recently declared full on war with PedoBear telling their users and subscribers that they are no longer permitted to use or send anything related to the meme claiming that his presence is offensive and users will be banned upon any use of his images. He's been forbidden from a variety of sites including Gaia, Gamespot, Energy Gaming, Diviantart, Tinypic and Image Shack among others. Photobucket states "Pedobear is a violation of terms. We do not allow images of Pedobear and we are actively removing all images containing Pedobear. Sincerely, Your Photobucket Support Team."  Facebook's judgement on PedoBear is still pending. However, a group of holier than thou bible beaters has a Facebook group solely dedicated to the removal of PedoBear from not just Facebook but the entire internet! Sorry folks! What goes online stays online, so suck it!
PedoBear is not a mascot for pedophiles. He is not  a sign of the presence of pedophiles and other people with inappropriate sexual behavior. He's a fucking joke! Get it? They let Micheal Jackson wander around for years and no one cared! A Cosplay participant dressed as the character was accused of being a pedophile at a recent convention in San Luis Obispo County California. The cosplayer was seen handing out candy to children and posing in pictures. He was escorted off of the premisis.  Afterward, the sheriffs department issued a public safety report concerning the popular meme (found below), a warning to local media, warning parents that the image can indicate the presence of pedophiles. The story was picked up by a few of the local news broadcasters, blowing the story out of proportion. Then, the police department in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and a local television station there, falsely reported that the person wearing the costume was a registered sex offender. 
To think that a real pedophile would actually be stupid enough to hide behind the meme and use PedoBear to mask his sickness is just stupid. Real pedophiles are much more covert and much harder to pinpoint. If only it would be as easy as rounding up all the PedoBears across the web, I'd like to think that we would once and for all be rid of pedophiles. Truth is, it will never be so simple. So keep yours eyes on your children, talk to them often and leave the kids in the bear suits alone!

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Wipeout vs Takeshi's Castle (MXC)

When Wipeout hit the air waves I about went crazy. I was pissed. How could they do this?! Format a show as a direct and blatant copy and not give any credit. It still drives me crazy every time I see a facebook post saying something along the line of "OMG I love Wipe Out. Greatest show ever." I get totally steamed. If you really want to roll on the floor laughing, watch MXC.

Wipe Out is an American game show series in which contestants compete in what is billed as the "world's largest obstacle course" (I beg to differ). The series premiered on June 24, 2008 on ABC. During an episode, contestants compete through four rounds of competition until a final winner is chosen. The first round features 24 contestants, while only the top four will make it to the final round called the Wipeout Zone, where the winner earns the title of Wipeout Champion and a $50,000 grand prize.

Apparently, I'm not the only one worked up over the hit copycat.
The concept and style of the show are taken directly from several Japanese game shows, most notably Takeshi's Castle and Sasuke. This was brought to the attention of the Japanese broadcaster Tokyo Broadcasting System, who filed a copyright infringement lawsuit against ABC, charging that Wipeout is a "blatant Copycat" of several of it's classic Japanese competition game shows. Among the charges are that ABC brought up search terms such as MXC (an Americanized version of Takeshi's Castle) on Google to help drive traffic to the official Wipeout page, and that specific obstacles in Wipeout were knock-offs of challenges in those Japanese game shows. Wipeout creator and executive producer Matt Kunitz, aka Douchy McGee, states that Wipeout is "90% Fear Factor-inspired, 10% Japanese game show.
Lies! Lies and slander!
The lawsuit went forward earlier this year.

 Wipeout doesn't hold a candle to Takeshi's Castle (MXC) and Sasuke (Ninja Warrior).
 Takeshi's Castle: 
風雲!たけし城 Fūun! Takeshi-jō, literally Turbulence! Takeshi Castle was a Japanese game show that aired from 1986 to 1989 on the Tokyo Broadcasting System. It featured the Japanese actor Takeshi Kitano as a count who owns a castle and sets up impossible challenges for players (or a volunteer army) to get to him. The show has become a cult television hit around the world (also known as Beat Takeshi).
It is a silly game show on which contestants are painfully eliminated through barely possible stunts and events, most taking place above pools of mud. 

Most Extreme Elimination Challenge (later known as MXC) is a re-edit of the footage from Takeshi's castle with rather hilarious dubbings that aired on Spike TV for several years. MXC is both property of Tokyo Broadcasting System and RC entertainment.
The dubbing over the Japanese voices is absolutley classic! In the dubbing they have completely changed what contestants are saying, and it is hilarious. Before a try at each round contestants pose for the camera and shout out the most random of absurdities (i.e. "I swallowed a comb!", "Yeah, I'm lactose intolerant!", "This is for all my homies in Battle Creek!") in whatever strange costume or uniform they have thrown on.
The contestants are ridiculous in how far they will go. Seeing them run into doors head-on, fall face first into rolling logs, try and catch balls flying at incredible speeds, violently spin and swing from enormous mushrooms, and try to survive through the general mayhem is great. This show is definitely a must see for anyone who is looking for a laugh. 

 How could Wipeout possibly beat obstacles like Sinkers and Floaters, Rotating Surfboard of Death, Boulder Dash, Brass Balls, Dope on a Rope and Eat Shitake, to name a few. The dubbed version splits contestants into teams (i.e. Team USA vs the World, Meat Handlers vs Voice Actors, Organ Donors vs Recovering Addicts, Superheroes vs Myspace). And sets them against one another trying to earn points as they successfully pass through the obstacles, which is rare.  
Narrated by Vic Romano (Takeshi) and Kenny Blankenship (Takeshi's assistant) and accompanied by a variety of characters like Guy Ladouche, Captain Tenneal, Skanky, em on em, and more, MXC is sinfully funny!

To think that ABC was stupid enough to believe that no one would even notice. I'm surprised it took so long for someone to even point the accusatory finger. 
Copycatting is a usual thing on american tv. Networks make shows just like other shows that people already like, just hoping to bank on it. But the similarities between Wipeout and its Japanese Counterparts is so obvious that ABC is going to get their asses handed to them. 
 And don't forget! You can now pick up your very own copies of MXC on DVD!
Hit the link to watch a little MXC!